So Close and Yet
by SineTimore
Summary: A one-shot companion piece to episode 5x03 - Secret's Safe with Me. Alexis is gone and it hits Castle hard.


**Disclaimer: **I can barely write without a deadline, so…

**AN:** So, this is a small companion piece to episode 5x03, Secret's Safe with Me, one of my most favorite episodes of the last two seasons.

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_**So Close and Yet**_

Rick sat cross-legged on the loft floor rummaging through his daughter's abandoned boxes. His home was quiet now, dim, lacking in the warmth that her presence brought to the cold lines and concrete walls. She'd been gone just hours but a part of him was already lost. It hadn't truly hit him until he'd walked in an hour earlier and found no one there to share the day's triumph with- another case solved by Richard Castle's outside-the-box thinking. No, in her place was a pyramid of cardboard boxes labeled "Leave at home", which is exactly what she'd done- to him.

The soft knock came a short time later, as he flipped through a stack of certificates of merit and achievement that seemed thicker than some of his novels. He stood up slowly, the stiffness generated by the unyielding floor having already taken over his entire body, and opened the door to find her, a most unexpected surprise given the hour. "Hey, Kate," he said softly. "What are you doing here? I thought we were just going to talk later," he asked, as he pulled her gently inside with a welcoming hand to her wrist.

"I just- I realized after you'd left the precinct that…what's all of this, Castle?" Their path inside was littered with frames and plaques and years old art projects. They moved delicately around each pile until they'd finally navigated their way to the sofa, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "Castle, what is all of that stuff?" she asked again to no immediate response, as she ran her hand lightly against his thigh.

"That is what's left of Alexis," he replied around the lump in his throat. "She's gone."

Kate reached for his hand and wove her fingers through his. "Castle," she said, in a failed effort to draw his eyes to hers. "Rick," she tried again, "look at me." When he finally turned to face her, she could see the tears in his eyes that had not yet been granted permission to fall. "Alexis isn't gone, Castle. She would never and will never leave you."

"I never imagined that five miles could feel so much like five million miles," he murmured, as his fingers tightened around hers. "I thought that I was prepared for this but I walked back in here tonight and it hit me like a freight train, Kate."

"Of course it did, Castle. You just brought your baby to college _today_. I can't imagine you having any other reaction."

"You can't?" he asked curiously.

"I can't. Your relationship with Alexis is one of the closest that I've ever witnessed between a father and a daughter. It's so special, Castle. _So_ special. It's one of the things that I love most about you. It's how I knew that behind that pompous, immature, egotistical exterior was a truly wonderful man."

"I'm sure that was a compliment but also, ouch," he replied.

"As if you're hearing those words for the first time, Castle," she quipped. Her hand released its grip on his and she shifted her body so she could bring her right leg over his and sit on his lap, face to face. "One day very soon, you're going to be able to look at those keepsakes and smile, Castle. It won't be today and it may not be tomorrow but I promise you that it will happen." With his face in her hands, her thumbs softly caressed his cheeks. "I've been there and I know," she assured him, before her lips met his with a tender kiss.

"Thank you, Kate," he said, as she pulled back slightly.

"For what?"

"Thank you for sharing that story with me earlier. I know that it wasn't easy for you and I'm truly honored that you felt comfortable enough to include me in something that was so meaningful to you and your father."

"You don't have to thank me, Castle. I really wanted to tell you. I just hope that it helps you to realize and to believe that what I said was true- that there _is_ a possibility for joy. Alexis is one of the very best parts of you, Castle, and she'll always be with you. Just give this a little bit of time."

He pulled her in to his body and wrapped his arms tightly around her as his gaze fell upon the stacked cardboard across the room. He allowed himself one tiny grin.

Maybe tomorrow.


End file.
